Communicating Your Estate Plan to Those Who Need to Know
For most people, the hardest part of the estate planning process is preparing and completing all the necessary paperwork. Yet for all the effort put into establishing the legal structure—identifying guardians, naming executors and powers of attorney, and making decisions about how assets should transfer—many stop short of doing the one thing that could make the entire plan work as intended: talking about it.
You might assume that because your wishes are well thought out and carefully written, they will automatically be honored when the time comes. But legal documents don’t speak for themselves. And those who have been assigned critical roles—like your executor, guardian, or healthcare proxy—will require more than a title. They will need context, direction, and reassurance.
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Have you ever actually asked your named executor if they’re willing to serve? Do they know where your estate planning documents are kept? Can your medical power of attorney access your health directive in an emergency? These are the type of questions that, if unanswered during your lifetime, can create chaos and conflict for your loved ones when you’re no longer able to provide guidance.
Imagine someone learning for the first time, during a moment of emotional distress, that they’ve been asked to make life-or-death healthcare decisions on your behalf. Or consider the logistical challenge your financial power of attorney may face attempting to locate your bank accounts, passwords, or trusted professionals with no roadmap. These aren't just oversights; they are avoidable mistakes.
Communicating your estate plan doesn’t mean broadcasting your net worth or details of your will. Rather, it’s about providing the right information to the right people. Each assigned individual must understand what’s expected of them and be properly equipped for the responsibility.
Whether it’s an attorney, financial planner, or accountant, a trusted professional should have copies of your estate documents, and your loved ones should know how to contact them. From there, share adequate information with your next generation to ensure clarity and reduce surprises because ambiguity and vagueness are rarely interpreted the way you intend.
Estate planning is as much about people as it is about property. Communicating your intentions upfront helps ensure your wishes are honored. It also prevents family from fighting amongst themselves and alleviates confusion during what will already be a difficult time.
Additionally, spelling out the details fosters trust among your heirs. When they understand how and why decisions are made, it becomes harder for resentment and suspicion to take over.
Start by identifying the essentials, such as the location of your estate plan, responsible parties, and how to contact your key advisors. Then take a step further by sharing the why behind your decisions. For instance, explaining your choice to name your younger sibling as medical power of attorney because of their medical background can ward off tension with older family members who may have assumed the role would be theirs.
Include any special instructions that your documents don’t fully capture, like caring for pets, preserving digital assets, or making provisions for step- or adopted children.
Creating an estate plan prepares your assets for your heirs. But have you prepared your heirs for your assets? This requires a willingness to get a little uncomfortable now to spare them a great deal of discomfort later.
Be sure to discuss your values, the causes you care about, and the kind of legacy you hope to leave behind. Do you want your heirs to give a portion of their inheritance to charity, maintain a family home, or steward a family business? Without making these wishes known and explaining your thought processes, they will be forced to guess—and they might guess wrong.
This doesn’t have to be a single, all-encompassing conversation. A phased approach over time can be more digestible and less overwhelming for everyone involved. The conversation does need to start somewhere because odds are that your heirs are even more uncomfortable bringing it up than you are.
Begin with a written outline of your thoughts and be prepared for some tough questions. Also, be clear about what you are and are not prepared to share.
After all, this is meant to be a conversation about clarity, not about money. The message you want to convey is that this is about them being prepared rather than being surprised. Your estate plan exists to reduce the burden on your loved ones, not increase it. And if that means having a few uncomfortable conversations now to avoid a dozen uncomfortable conversations later—especially after you're gone—it’s worth the tradeoff.
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Malcolm Ethridge is the Managing Partner at Capital Area Planning Group, based in Washington, D.C. His areas of expertise include retirement planning, investment portfolio development, tax planning, insurance, equity compensation and other executive benefits.
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Disclosures:
The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only, does not constitute investment advice, and should not be relied upon as such. Be sure to consult with your legal advisors before taking any action that could have tax and legal consequences.
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